what is self motivation and self believe? by Sabine (Pahala, Hawaii, USA)

Home of My Heart

Germany wasn't my place. I was born and raised there but it just didn't feel like home. When I was a teenager, this feeling grew stronger and stronger. Somehow, I felt like a bird in a cage, unable to spread my wings and express myself. 

My greatest pleasure was my nightly visualizations. Before I went to sleep, I imagined my place, my perfect home in the mountains of a tropical country overlooking the ocean. There I lived with several people and children in small houses in complete happiness, harmony and bliss.

During this time, I didn't believe in anything like God, the Universe, a higher power, let alone, thoughts becoming things. Nonetheless, the Universe started working overtime for me. Only in retrospect can I see the miracles, cause and effect lessons and manifestations which ultimately led to the fulfillment of my dream. There truly are no coincidences, no ordinary moments in life. Everything has profound meaning.

One of the most significant events in my life was the day, I met a Michael on a small island in Holland. We fell madly in love with each other. Unfortunately our lifestyles didn’t match. He was a vagabond, a gypsy, traveling from one place to another, and I was caught up in the rules and laws of society and unable to join him. Although we never lived together, meeting him led through many apparently unrelated events to the manifestation of my dreams.

Even though Michael and I went our separate ways, he never stopped visiting me. He came to see me several times a year. I went to college, feeling lonely, desperate and depressed, looking for answers outside of myself. Eventually I got stuck in a terrible relationship with a very abusive man. I totally surrendered to him, giving away my own tremendous power. 

During this time of darkness Michael was the light of my life. Seeing him reminded me of the existence of love and joy which I had completely excluded from my life. At that time, I put all the blame on my partner. He was my captor, not leaving me any choices but surrender. Taking responsibility for my life seemed to be far out of my reach.

On one of his visits, Michael brought Lea, his new girlfriend, along. They had met each other in the desert in Israel. From the moment we met there was a strong connection between Lea and me, which over the years led to a deep, loving friendship. Strange as it may seem, jealousy never was an issue. A year later, when I saw her for the second time, we both had a baby boy.

I loved my child but my depression intensified. I didn’t see a way out of the nightmare relationship I had with my son’s father. At my most desperate point I knew I had two choices: Die (mentally) or run.

We are always surrounded by angels who never fail to appear in our times of greatest need. It was then at this crucial point in my life, that Lea knocked on my door asking me if I wanted to go to America with her. Michael’s and her relationship was over. I said yes and chose running because dying wasn’t an option, I had a child to take care of. 

We planned to meet in New York and then travel through California looking for a place to live. Secretly, I got passports, tickets, sold whatever I could sell, took my boy and left without telling anybody.

When I met Lea in New York she told me that our plans had changed. She had met a lady in the library in Manhattan who asked her if she would like to housesit for her on the Big Island of Hawaii. So, we were going to Hawaii. I had never even thought of that before. Truly, the miraculous ways of the Universe are beyond anything we could have ever imagined with our rational minds.

It was dark when we arrived in Hawaii. We were very tired and went to sleep right away. The next morning I went outside and couldn’t believe my eyes. Before me was a beautiful, tropical mountain valley with the most amazing view on the ocean. It was the perfect reflection of the landscape of my dreams. I knew instantly that I had found my place, the home of my heart. I fell in love with Hawaii. 

Over time, we built several small houses on a large piece of land we took care of. There we lived happily and joyfully with our children and several other people. Even our lifestyle became a replica of my visualizations. I remember going outside at night, looking at the stars, feeling the gentle, caressing energy of Hawaii and thinking: This is a fairytale land. I am so blessed. 

For the past 25 years, Hawaii has been my living, magical, spiritual classroom. Surrounded by the intense, divine spirit of this island, I always feel loved, protected and guided. Here is where my faith and trust in the Godessence began to grow, illuminating my life with joy, purpose, love, abundance and, most of all, never ending gratitude.
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